Culinary Fail: Jailhouse Burrito

Once in a rainbow sprinkled moon, I go to the kitchen and I cook. A few of my experiments were actually edible, but most of the time it ended up an epic failure like this one. Well, in my defense, this one was nasty from the start. Maybe that’s why I tried it in the first place. Failure attracts failure.

Anyway, read and try at your own risk.

Jailhouse Burrito
*recipe I read somewhere on the net
** ingredients substituted with Indonesian equivalent

1 pack of Indomie Ayam Special
1 big pack of corn chips (doritos, happy-tos or whatever you fancy)
1 towel (not the small one for your crotch kind)

Crush the Indomie inside the pack into pieces.

Open the corn chips and take out half of the bag’s contents. You’d want to use about the same amount of crushed chips as the crushed indomie. Crush the bloody corn chips inside the bag too.

Boil a cup of water. Open packet of flavoring inside the Indomie pack.

Put the Indomie and flavoring in the corn chip bag, pour just enough hot water, fold and roll the bag in a burrito shape so that it seals, wrap the bag in a towel to keep warm… and let it sit for 5 minutes…

Open the bag. Voila, the crushed noodles and chips have absorbed all the water, expanded, and they all turn into a block of mush! Drain whatever fluid is left, take the nasty burrito shaped object out of the bag, and you’re done.

I smashed mine for a dramatic presentation – here:

totally smashed jailhouse burrito

Well! This thing tasted just as nasty as it looks. It’s moist, mushy, and really bland… just like food for sick people with no teeth and no tastebuds. The doritos and Indomie have expanded into twice their normal size, making this a very large, and a very bland meal. I was hungry when I made this, but after a couple spoonfuls, I wasn’t so hungry anymore. I was sick. And that’s that. No more jailhouse anything for now.

Difficulty: 1/10
Appeareance: 1/10 (looks like dog’s vomit)
Taste: 2/10 (try eating that hot inmate instead)

Final verdict: FAIL.

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FYI, Jailhouse Burrito recipes online:
Encyclopedia Dramatica
Youtube recipe #1
Youtube recipe #2