Saved by Goceng: A KFC products review (1)

“Thank God for grandpa goceng!” – Rara, Copywriter.
“Goceng saved my life, and my wallet!” – Jalu, Art Director.

If you live in Indonesia, and like many salaried people, you tend to be strapped for cash by mid-month, then you must be familiar with KFC’s Goceng products. Goceng means “five thousand” in Hokkien language. At a dirt-cheap Rp. 5000,-/50c equivalent,  you can enjoy various choices of foods and drinks from KFC. How exciting and convenient for us, thrifty people! *snorts*

My mom (or someone else) said, “pay peanuts and you get monkeys”… and “eat junk food and you’ll be hungry in no time”. So, what to expect when you only have to pay Rp. 5000,- for lunch at a fast food restaurant, where the average normal menu price is around Rp. 30.000,-? Surely it will be hit-or-miss, but I am curious, my tastebuds are quite tolerant, and my stomach is as strong as a cement mixer.

Motivated by boredom, curiosity, and being broke, and at the expense of possible weight gain and embarrassment, I have decided to do a review of *ALL* the Goceng products KFC has to offer.

Here is the first installment, and I will be reviewing 5 products. Welp. Without further ado, enjoy!

1. KFC Molten cake

Date consumed: June 11, 2011
Review: When I heard about this menu, I was so excited. One of my favorite dessert for less than Rp. 6000,-? You gotta be f*cking kidding me. So I went to KFC at the nearest opportunity and ordered one. It’s a tiny teeny molten cake, and it looked a little squashed. The texture is similar to a brownie. Will it be all melty and gooey inside? I tucked in with sheer anticipation, only to find the insides already coagulated into some sort of creamy mush – not molten chocolate. Oh well. At least it tasted like chocolate, though a little burnt and bitter. What I liked about it, is that it’s not so disgustingly sweet. This cake will not be my last, for sure. Anytime I need a quick molten cake fix, I’ll come back to KFC for an instant, almost decent substitute.
Score: 7.5/10 (all is well for now)

2.  KFC Orange Juice
(sorry dude, this drink is so boring I didn’t take pics)
Date consumed: June 11, 2011
Review: What do you expect? It’s some orange flavored syrup (loads of liquid sugar!) served with ice cubes. Nothing natural in it, but it’s a decent thirst quencher, and it doesn’t upset my stomach the way carbonated drinks often do.
Score: 6/10 (It’s syrup, don’t label it as OJ, dude)

3. KFC Cream Soup
(sorry dude, I was too hungry I didn’t take pics)
Date consumed: June 19, 2011
Review: I kinda liked this Goceng dish. Piping hot, just the right creamy consistency, with little bits of mushroom (?) and little meaty pieces that looked like chicken (?) inside, it’s almost OK for an appetizer on a rainy afternoon.
Score: 7.5/10 (not very nourishing but makes a cheap tasty comfort food)

4. KFC Mocha Float
(sorry dude, I was too thirsty I didn’t take pics)
Date consumed: June 25, 2011
Review: On the menu board it looked like some coffee flavored milk drink with soft serve ice cream on top. Not too dangerous at all, I thought, so I ordered one and took a first sip – it was SALTY! Enough said. The soft serve was okay, though.
Score: 4/10 (no idea what went into the drink, salt? sweat? eeww)

4. Colonel’s Spaghetti
(sorry dude, I was too hungry I didn’t take pics)
Date consumed: June 25, 2011
Review: “Spaceng! Spaceng!” the cashier yelled to the kitchen staff. A few minutes later, I was served a smallish glob of pasta with some tomato sauce (faux napolitana) on a flimsy plastic plate. It was very salty, and the tomato sauce was quite tasty, though I hardly can find any meat at all. The portion was way too small to be a proper meal. I could easily eat 5 of these, with some chicken strips on top, but that would totally defeat the purpose of eating cheap at KFC. Duh.
Score: 6/10 (salty, fattening and not nutritious at all!)

5. KFC Pudding

Date consumed: 27 June, 2011
Review: Is this thing edible? I had doubts when I jabbed my spoon onto the gelatinous, mysterious chocolatey substance. It smelled really sweet. I took a spoonful. The pudding wasn’t as sweet,  but the sauce was mighty sweet, a little artificial tasting, and a little starchy. I can smell a hint of  alcohol essence in there, though I know  in Indonesia it’s impossible for a KFC product to have any rum in it. In short, this pudding wasn’t too bad at all. It could pass for some kind of emergency late night dessert. Way to go, KFC.
Score: 7.5/10 (almost as good as homemade pudding)

(To be continued on part 2. I’m looking forward for the waffles – not so much on the clear soup. It doesn’t look too appetizing to me. And the perkedel just looks plain greasy. Calories calories. God help me.)